Upset! I'm not the one.

I'm so happy that DD is coming back and looking forward to fetch him from the airport. I planning what time to leave my house and what to wear to the airport? After all, it's just my wishful thinking. I'm not the one he wish to see at the arrivals gates. He mentioned that his sister is coming to fetch him. Deep inside me, i was secretly wanting him to tell me that he has rejected his sister as the car can't fit so many people and most importantly because i'm the person he want to see most. In fact, i got another answer which somehow affect me. He replied me: Noted!

Now even he wanted to do something about it, it's too late. Nothing can mend what has crack.

Maybe i'm kicking a fuss over a molehill. I can't hide my feelings that i seriously feel hurt. I always thought DD has become a part of my life. With this long distance communication breakdown and emptiness, it causing tension and strains. We are already breaking apart, can he see it?? Isn't it makes it more important to see your love one waiting at the arrival gate to give u a hug? Well, it's so different how a guy and a girl would think.

When i went over to meet him in US, he waited for me with flowers. I already expected that he will get flowers because he did mentioned something to me. I'm very happy to see but i have the nervous feeling. The sort of feeling that i meeting someone from the Internet. He didn't gave me a hug when i reach but gave me flowers. It's nice because i know he wanted to do something sweet for me. I appreciate it! Sometimes because of our many quarrels doesn't mean i don't appreciate simple things he done. I still can remember sweet surprises in during our early days of courtship. Now, everything is simply dull and boring. Just more quarrels and he hanged up my phone or going offline.

I thought a short trip can ease our minds and bring us closer due to our quarrels. It might be a good time to bond with each other and have fun together. He suggested that we should not go as there's a recession going on now and have to save up more. I understand his point of view but can he understand mine? To him, everything is money and time. To me, spend a reasonable amount and bring happiness so why not.

He didn't sense that i stop talking about marriage, planning or etc? Because i know once i start on it and will bring me more disappointment. I don't want to make myself upset for a happy occasion.

He might think since he is back, he might have the rest of the time to accompany me. Like going to movies and shopping? Out of sudden, i lost of all these interest. There is nothing to look forward anymore.

Time after time, i got hurt and disappointed. I am so vulnerable now.

Maybe we are no longer who we used to be!

All about my raves

Do visit:
When we say "I do"

Summer
Jerlyn
Isabella
HuiQi
Plue
Rouge
Muse