My love: DD is back! Extremely happy and i missed him so much.

It's been 3 days since DD is back and I am taking every chance to meet him daily. Before i start my work on 3rd November, around 2 weeks left to bond with each other. We are better than before, no quarrels or argument and things are going on sweet. So nice!

I wanted to be a nice gf as i promised when i made him a card. I'm a rather short and quick tempered person hence i tend to get pissed off easily. So now, I'm under going a change. It will definitely make my relationship and life better. Hee!

Bought a 32" HD TV. Hee! $799. It will be delivered tomorrow.

Dad's birthday tomorrow.
We are going out for dinner. . .

Darn! Last night, i was blogging about yesterday when my Internet Explorer mentioned it has to shut down. I didn't get to save my entire entry!!!! Well, i'm too tired to rewrite everything again.
Accompanied DD's mum for blood test earlier today. Seems like she is feeling much better and look more healthier. Doing regular check up is the best! Discover early rather than late. The next follow-up will be a week later.

At first, i crave for fake eyelashes. I have a lot of boxes at home. Hee! I love pretty looking eyes. Lately, i didn't wear fake falsies as i constantly applied Canmake Eyelashes Essence daily (day/night) and works. I am so happy that I came to know about this wonderful product. Now i simply just swipe my lashes with my mascara and I'm good to go. Haa! Wearing fake falsies is definitely nicer and makes the eyes look rounder bigger. And i will not give up my fake eyelashes because it gives a DOLLY look. So pretty.

Recently, i craved for pretty looking nails. Bought nails stickers to decorate them. $2.95 buy 1 get 1 at SASA. Only $1.47 each: Super duper cheap as currently they are having promotion. I thought of running back and get some more. Opps! =X

It's all along been a trend for girls to do up nice looking nails when more and more manicure outlet appeared in SG. I only been to a manicure at Bugis Village once and chose to do strawberry design which cost me around $21-23? There's several people commenting my nails look so cute. Hee! Well, I think going to nail salons are costly so i prefer to do my own. At most, buying quality nail polish like OPI. I own quite a few bottles now and still adding more to my collection. I simply love them as it's long lasting, bright and smooth texture. I learn smart that i have to file my nails first hence it will appear to be smooth.

A reason that i want a camera because i got post up more picture to my blog. For instance, i was writing about nails arts so i want to show my DIY nails. Hmm, maybe i will borrow DD's camera when he is back.

After many months of being jobless with zero income, i get a permanent job at last.


***************************************************************
Short update:

Sign Appointment letter
Book Genting trip
Got news on my missing parcel
Bought quality nails stickers

(Suppose to have a longer entry on this post due to unforeseen situation, my IE closed down)

Upset! I'm not the one.

I'm so happy that DD is coming back and looking forward to fetch him from the airport. I planning what time to leave my house and what to wear to the airport? After all, it's just my wishful thinking. I'm not the one he wish to see at the arrivals gates. He mentioned that his sister is coming to fetch him. Deep inside me, i was secretly wanting him to tell me that he has rejected his sister as the car can't fit so many people and most importantly because i'm the person he want to see most. In fact, i got another answer which somehow affect me. He replied me: Noted!

Now even he wanted to do something about it, it's too late. Nothing can mend what has crack.

Maybe i'm kicking a fuss over a molehill. I can't hide my feelings that i seriously feel hurt. I always thought DD has become a part of my life. With this long distance communication breakdown and emptiness, it causing tension and strains. We are already breaking apart, can he see it?? Isn't it makes it more important to see your love one waiting at the arrival gate to give u a hug? Well, it's so different how a guy and a girl would think.

When i went over to meet him in US, he waited for me with flowers. I already expected that he will get flowers because he did mentioned something to me. I'm very happy to see but i have the nervous feeling. The sort of feeling that i meeting someone from the Internet. He didn't gave me a hug when i reach but gave me flowers. It's nice because i know he wanted to do something sweet for me. I appreciate it! Sometimes because of our many quarrels doesn't mean i don't appreciate simple things he done. I still can remember sweet surprises in during our early days of courtship. Now, everything is simply dull and boring. Just more quarrels and he hanged up my phone or going offline.

I thought a short trip can ease our minds and bring us closer due to our quarrels. It might be a good time to bond with each other and have fun together. He suggested that we should not go as there's a recession going on now and have to save up more. I understand his point of view but can he understand mine? To him, everything is money and time. To me, spend a reasonable amount and bring happiness so why not.

He didn't sense that i stop talking about marriage, planning or etc? Because i know once i start on it and will bring me more disappointment. I don't want to make myself upset for a happy occasion.

He might think since he is back, he might have the rest of the time to accompany me. Like going to movies and shopping? Out of sudden, i lost of all these interest. There is nothing to look forward anymore.

Time after time, i got hurt and disappointed. I am so vulnerable now.

Maybe we are no longer who we used to be!

OMG! I did something to my laptop yesterday and it has no audio.
I try and try to figure out ways to rectify it but failed. Then, i tried again today!
Yayee! It works! I'm so grateful that my audio is back. Haha!
I really learnt my lesson not to install any stuffs from the internet.


When there is a saying, you can fall down but do not fall in love.
If fall down, you can stand up but just suffer from physical injuries.
If fall in love, you can hardly stand up but suffer emontional injuries.
Emontional injuries hurts the most. For those who ever fall out of love, will understand.


My relationship is still not picking up ...
We are not actually doing fine and had small tiffs everyday. I don't quite understand how i'm feeling but i know that we both are very worn out by our relationship and also trying to make decisions to survive in this cruical time.

My life is good but isn't exactly perfect. I have a average to do family and everything that i wanted my parents will try to provide me. However, my deepest regret is my education that i have step out into the society when other girl of my age are still pursuing their studies.

Now i got my diploma and wanted to get a job which can fetch a higher pay but somehow didn't quite manage to. Economy is getting from bad to worse which is very much affected by US. Every day, newspaper will talk about retrenchment and tough 2009 which brings fears to many people including me. I read from an article that during this period it will be tough for fresh graduates to get a high pay job. It saddens me so much. I put in time and effort to get a diploma as reason being that i can get a higher pay job than before. Well, it's all about the wrong timing.

I just got an offer from KK hospital but i'm not too pleased with the salary. I have yet to give my commitment to them and stress that i would like to negoiate about the salary further. I asked for $150 more of what they are offering. Now, i'm not sure if i can get so PRAY hard.

DD has been retrenched and coming back to SG end of this week. Again, he has to go through interviews and secure a good job. Poor DD! Anyway, hopefully that the retrechment package will be good enough for him to survive this tough times.

Our relationship is destroyed!


Beyond help and cure. . . . Quarrels after quarrels. . .
Conversation grew lesser and love goes fade. . . .


No matter how sad and hurt I'm, he will not come forward anymore. It is also the edge of a relationship. I'm so tired of trying to make things works anymore and often left me in streams of tears. When we quarrel, he is not anxious to making things works: perhaps he is tired of it. He doesn't make me feel loved anymore but like i suppose to be understanding him always. I lost all my confidence in this relationship.


Intentionally, he is only guy that I've plans for future and to get married. He treated me and love me wholeheartedly. Once we got to know better of each other, problems start to arise one by one. Finally, end up to this wrecked state. We both know that some part in us still love each other but there's too much character flaws that is breaking us up.

Maybe a "Breakup" is the best option when we both are in this state??
There might be a happier tomorrow when we are both gone separate ways.


Why hang on to LOVE that hurts so much?

Woooah! Didn't realise that I haven't been updating my blog for 6 days.

Having the UPs and the DOWNs. . . .



Dated: 6 - 8 October 2008 (Monday- Wednesday)

Well, i have give up the job in NHC. The last day was on Wednesday.
I tender my notice on Monday. A few of the ladies were shocked that i'm leaving working less than 2 weeks. I rather dread working there. I guess what affects me most is the job which i simply have no interests and has to face other people's stares and remarks. So demoralised.

I pity a lady: Jenny who has only worked 1 year in NHC. She might be slightly blur but i can see that she is pile up with huge workload. Poor thing. There's someone there who has worked for 8 years but can't get along with her and didn't even offered to give a single helping hand. They are not good to each other and seldom speak. Aiyo, everywhere is the same?! Why can't i see better people in this working world?

Jenny has to assist around 6 doctors. One of them whom i have the most bad impression is a female doctor. She seems to have those arrogant kind of look and rude. I dislike her the very first moment i saw her. Jenny was trying to do up the work for her and hurry as Doctor's schedules are very busy. Forgetful Jenny went to unlock her door and put something inside her room. But she left the keys on the doors. Doctor Ding came back and was very furious said: "JENNY! JENNY! TAKE THE KEYS AWAY!" and she slam the door. OMG, i was thinking Jenny was in deep shit. People forget to take the keys not do it on purpose, can't she speak in a better tone? I know she is a "senior consultant" so meaning she can order people like this. Haa!

To prevent myself from having this kind of treatment, i better get my ASS out of there!
I came to work for a living not to see your BITCHY face!



Dated: 9 October 2008 (Thursday)

I've been shortlisted for the 2nd interview in KKWCH and went on Thursday. I think i did rather well but i don't want to hold too high hopes in case that i've not been selected. Suppose to be interviewed by 2 person but another interviewer call in for MC. Fortunately, I'm been interviewed by a really nice Malay guy. I really prays that i will be selected as there's 2 position with 3-4 shortlisted candidates for the interview. On Thursday, i was the 1st candidate to be interviewed and when i left i saw, the other candidate is waiting for interview. Well, she look kind of soft and matured.

Prays to get the JOB!


Medicine ends on 9 Oct! Hence, i will be have to consume the 3 weeks after 7 days. Now I'm waiting for my menses to come really soon. Also recently, i had many breakouts, feeling moody, body aches and also tired easily.

Went to visit DD's mum after the interview. I also played with Thaddeus. He is sick so he didn't went to school. DD's mum seems much better after going to the doctor. She is rather careful of her diet and keen to get well. 2 weeks later will be another visit to the doctor. Hope that her readings will be near to normal and well.

I was waiting for the Bus 51 at the interchange. That day, i was wearing a rather low blouse and expose a fair chest. Got a freaking AH BENG waited for me to stand beside and peak at me. Wah lau, i feel so naked when he looked at me like that. Gross! I wish DD was there to protect me. Then, i quickly scramble up to upper deck to find a seat. Heng, he didn't came up.

Dated: 10 October 2008 (Friday)

Webcam with DD for short while and went to Outram with my mum to check out more on tours packages. She is planning a trip somewhere with my brother. After making enquiries, all the packages seems rather expensive. Somehow i hate shopping for tour packages or maybe i am not really keen in participating expensive tours.

I was planning to either go to Batam or Malaysia. It's a cheap and budget relaxing getaway.
We still have not go into full details of when and where to go. A plan is just a plan.

I understand now the times are as good but doesn't means that we can't go on a short trip. Our major communication method is through electronic device: Laptop and mobile phone. Thankfully, there are such things as MSN and skype. Beside these non-physically attributes, we do not see each other physically. For sure, there will be more problems occur when emptiness is starting to play trick on one and other such as blaming and misunderstanding.

Hopefully, we can go on a short trip for just the both of us to BOND with another again.


We might not even go. DD seems not too interested to me. He didn't mentioned much but simply asked: Which is the cheapest?! Then, it was dead silent again. I didn't want to kick a fuss on this because such situation has happened not only once. He is not being pro-active and quite indecisive. I believe his excuse will be that he has too many things on his mind and he forget or thinks that this can wait. Surely, can cook up with an excuse no matter what!

Did my nails in deep maroon. Nice color! I really like OPI nail polish and second by ORLY.
OPI is more costly which definitely the best as the brush is wide so you just have to brush 1-2 times to get your polish coated onto your nails. The colors are vivid and lasting.

As for ORLY, the color is very thick and strong. Looks nice. The brush has a rubber grip to have a better hold when applying the polish. However, i find that the brush is thin and makes the application uneven so the drying time for each fingers will differ.

Conclusion: What you pay is what you get!

Dated: 11 October 2008 (Saturday) TODAY

Rest at home but do nothing. I tried to take a nap but can't. Weather is a killer.
So i play games on my DS and missing my DD. He is in Las Vegas spending the last weekend there. Also to get stocks from COACH boutiques for his sisters. As for me, i don't wan to spend too much. Factory outlet's stock will do fine for me.

Meet up with a cotter and sold her one of my Monistat for $11.
Then, went to Orchard to meet up with the Ultra shimmer eyeshadow palette organiser to collect my 88 color palette. 1 for me, another one for Huiling's birthday present. I really don't know if she likes this one but she is insane for eye shadows. Haa!

Sepohra is coming to Singapore. They are opening a oulet here and currently hiring sales assistance. Also Majolica will be launching in Watson end of this month. Wooah, more choices of makeups meaning more chances of spending money. Haa!



Hmm, recently i've been thinking of the past.
For instant, how i got a boyfriend? When i started to fall in love? How loving and sweet? In a relationship, it is always happy just that breakups are sad.

I would couples hugging each other in train and escalator, like they both are so into each other. The guy will just gently give the girl a kiss. So sweet. Now, seems like i don't experience such things. So meaning these kind of acts are from teenagers but not working adults like me. Haa! Or should i say: Theirs are puppy love, Mine is real love? Haa! Nonsense.

When couples returning home from outings. Smiling from ear to ear and kiss goodbye! So nice.

Now DD is being away and i'm back home in Singapore. We still continue to fight almost every other day. When times are better will talk about other things but still end up in fights again.


I believed when a long relationship has grow stable, simple gesture will be forgotten. Hugging and holding hands to make each other feel loved is most important. I ever read that it's the body language that can tell a million words. Kiss from your love one to remind that: You're only mine, or I'm only yours! Isn't it nice to remind one another? =)

Surprises grow lesser and then non-existence anymore. Sigh! It will also boost up your partner's mood and feeling make her/him know that you appreciate having her/him in your life so you make an effort to give a surprise. It feels very sweet, touched, warm and special when you're really surprised! Well, i have to comment that i ever felt that way before. When DD really surprised me by giving me a necklace which i really like it and merely just point it out to a friend. I didn't even told DD, so i didn't expect that he had heard my conversation with my friend. Then, surprises become lesser and gone! No more surprises but MORE quarrels.

Least but not least, the most important is SEX. It brings a couple to a better understanding of each other. For sure, it is one of the ways to express love. However, in today's society many people has been abusing it and fooling around. So who is being true and who is not, hard to judge?

Well, my motto is: Be loyal to your partner and love him wholeheartedly!

Time flies as we have already entered October.
Hopefully that the weather will turn cooler soon.
I prefer cold weather than hot & humid weather. Haa!

Keep having body aches recently and feeling rather uncomfortable which make me tired and restless. Maybe i should go for a body massage? I never tried it before but it might helps.

I went for an interview in KKWCH. Isn't that cool?
So I can learn more about drugs and perhaps have more knowledge which will be benefitical to my daily life? The interview went ok but i still need to go through the second round of interview in order to be confirmed. Sigh!

As recently my job in NHC, I'm having many complaints. I don't like the job or environment. I thought that i can adapt the job as previously i had experience being a Personal Assistant and i realised that it's not what I'm looking for. In my view, i find that there's no value add. There's nothing much that i can learn beside doing roster, taking minutes and doing dictation (I really hate this). I do not like being told by others and help to work independently or to said with minimum supervising. Sigh! DD advised me to resign if i really don't enjoy being there. I really not sure what should i do about it.

Well, the good news is that DD is coming home on 17 Oct! Yippee.
Miss him so much!

Today is a Public Holiday!
Selamat Hari Raya & Happy Children's Day!

So happy to have a good rest at home. I had a good sleep and a long nap in the afternoon. Now I'm feeling very much refresh but i discovered that there's a small bite under my eye, very itchy. Though the itch has gone away but the bump still can be slightly be seen. My right leg hurts and feel strained. Maybe i exert too much when I'm wearing heels on Monday. Gosh! What's wrong?

Why that a person has so much worries? I fear for no jobs when I'm jobless. But now i got an offer of a job but i not happy with it. I don't like the job scope and being personal assistance to doctors. It's not what I'm looking at. I find quite upsetting that I'm not able to find a job that fits to my interests. I have sent 3 resumes this morning for Purchasing job scope and hoping that i will have a reply from the company. I find Purchasing is rather fun and interesting though it might be rather stressful in terms of meeting urgent deadlines. In terms of the working environment, i find it so dull. There's no communications or mixing around. It makes me miss ST so much. Compared to an admin or purchasing job, i swear that i very much enjoyed working in Purchasing.

I really miss DD badly. Also the times spent in US. I love everything in Salt Lake! Walmart, Smith, Aeropostale, Old Navy, Cosco, JC Penny, Dillards and many more. I'm so keen in joining him in US but I'm fear of the US economy that's also affecting Singapore. Haiz! He has made request to his boss that he wants to return. Maybe if he return to Singapore, i will feel less upset and depressed as i got his accompanied.

I'm so alone!

All about my raves

Do visit:
When we say "I do"

Summer
Jerlyn
Isabella
HuiQi
Plue
Rouge
Muse