We quarrelled!

This is like the first quarrel out of 2 months. It might be the longest period that we have been so nice to each other. Somehow i wonder if we truly love one another or just a companion. I'm vexed and stuck now. I really want to go over to join him in US but it's still not the right time. Because he not sure when is the fucking date that he will return to SG. Next, i need money. I wan to earn money so to go shopping and save up. Plus now the economy is quite slow and I'm afraid that it would enter a recession. If the economy would to enter a recession when I'm not having a job, it will be terrifying for me. More financial commitment without a job is dreadful.

He scolded me and ask me: "Do you really think you are a princess?". I feel hurt and somehow i could not make out why. Maybe because i thought couples in love, the bf should give in more to the gf? I heard many relationship stories whereby some bf are really very sweet and do romantic stuffs, give in during quarrels. Girls are naturally born with short tempered and an eye for shopping which is nothing wrong i assume. Why am I a loser in relationship?? I can't find the one that truly love me. Once i thought i found him but then later, i realize i was wrong again.

There's so such thing as "EVERLASTING LOVE". Bloody CRAP!

What is his meaning of shoving me the ring he meant to propose to me? I took it officially off today. Now my finger is missing that tiny thing. Many times i have mentioned that him but he treat it as a deaf ear. The ring has no sentimental value hence it also might the reason i didn't really want it. I can't remember anything happy about it. I even have to drag him to Bugis twice to get it unwillingly. Return to him once again for his surprise proposal. Then again, he brought me flower and shove me the ring over a normal dinner. So unromantic! But do u think he is trying? I don't think he bothers to care what i think. Deep inside me, i feel unwanted and upset. I really envy other girls when their future husband spend some time planning for the proposal just to make her surprise and happy.

Story One goes like this: There's a trip that this girl is very keen into. But the bf didnt allow her to go with her friend. Then the bf plan a trip for her. Then propose to her when they are away on the trip. I'm so so jealous! What do i got? I got "nothing".

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Story Two: My frend Pauline and Jason. Jason propose to her on surprise during their Hongkong trip at Peak. - For me, i've nothing but a sunken face after a quarrel in Hongkong. During the exchange of vows at their ROM, Jason even sang a song for Pauline. Making everyone in the room so touched! Till today, everyone will never forget what Jason did for Pauline as we can feel his strong love for her. Me?! Sigh!

There is no longer surprises from him anymore. All girls loves surprise, don't they? Nothing that can boost our relationship anymore. I feel kind of worried. Now I'm only a girlfriend to him but what if we are married, means that he can't be bothered about it anymore. It will only get worse. Then marriage life will get duller and duller and duller. Tension grew then snap one day, marriage goes on the rocks. So scary! How?! No wonder there are many people who prefers to stay single rather than having marital commitments. Come to think of it, can i change my mind not to get married? Or maybe i've not meet the guy of my life yet. Well, i think money is more important. It might not buy happiness but do you think getting married means finding your happiness? Some couples had to filed for divorce or some worse have to tolerate living with each other for their children sake.

Sigh! I rather rear dogs because they will make you happy when you sad and always loyal to you. They will not keep other girl's "binkini" photo in their laptops. Well, the ger is willing to show her flesh and the guy is attracted to her flesh and get tempted. Both deserved each other perfectly - Made in Heaven!

Life is so frustrating.

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